My New Baby

After four years of thinking, shopping, and occasional mocking, I finally purchased my Barbie Dream Hearse.

It's a '92 Cadillac Superior, all white with blue interior, which I will be ripping out shortly. I spent yesterday and today getting estimates on the upholstery and wiring. I plan to visit a nearby body shop to see about paint tomorrow.

I don't have pictures just now. It's not that amazing right now anyway—it could use a bath, but there's no point in messing with the exterior when it'll be out of a commission for a few weeks while we work on the interior. Doug Scott, the man who sold me the car, didn't post this one on his site, but it looks similar to the white '91 on there.

I came out to Los Angeles to look at the '91, but the '92 has 25,000 fewer miles and runs a little better. It also has a raised top with custom windows and windshield. I wasn't originally seeking that, but it will provide more passenger headroom in the back.

All of this guy's cars were great, and most of the hearses I inquired about online appeared very well cared-for. My initial plan was to get a later model, but something drew me to the '91 on Doug's site. Then I got to thinking about how some of these older cars still have quite a bit of life in them, and the rounded body style that they adopted in the late '90s looks rather plain. Once I get this baby souped up, she'll be a real looker!

Although I've finally chosen and purchased the vehicle, the process of making it the Barbie Dream Hearse is just beginning. The amount of work I plan to have done will run me at least double the cost of the car. I guess I could have started tracking my progress a little sooner (I've been wanting to do this since 2005!), but I still feel like I just got back from Asia.

I've been without a car for a couple years now and lived cheaply in Seattle for the sole purpose of raising capital to create the best hearse evar. I'm really excited about all the possibilities and things I'm already learning about customizing cars.

It was only in the last year or so that I began opening up and telling friends, coworkers, and even total strangers what I wanted to do. Part of the reason was out of worry that the idea would be stolen by an attention whore richer and better connected than I. But mostly, I was protecting myself from the unavoidable ridicule one faces when she wants to do something that few people have done.

As I began cautiously mentioning it to very close friends and the rare person who seemed like they might be able to help, I was delighted by the amount of support I received. I don't take for granted that I have so many kind, open-minded people in my life. It's just as easy to say "Sounds great!" as it is to say "That's stupid," but the choice to use either phrase says more about the person saying it than what he's talking about. I honestly take to heart the positive words from all the folks who know what it took to get me here (a hotel in downtown LA?!), whether they're from my inner circle or a bar stool in one of the 800 towns I've passed through this year. It's great to know so many people believe in my ability to follow through with my plans.

Okay, so I bought a car. I didn't cure world hunger. But you know if I had, there would be a blog about it.

Sidenote: During my last few days of wheeling and dealing, I've had a nonstop loop of the funniest Yo Dawg memes going through my head. For the uninitiated, Pimp My Ride is an old MTV show hosted by rap artist Xzibit. Like most rappers, he puts his own spin on the English language, and like most Internet geeks, I'm totally cool with making fun of it. The whole time I've been talking to mechanics and salespeople about car parts and procedures, part of my brain was thinking, "Yo dawg, I heard you like death and Barbies so we killed some Barbies and put 'em in your hearse so you can play while you play."

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm exhausted. There will be lots more in the coming weeks. I can't remember the last time I was so excited about a project!